A Joke A Day.

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7 years 4 months ago #2466 by Jake
A very tired nurse walks into a bank, Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.

Preparing to write a check, She pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake, She looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:

'Well, that's great....that's just great....

Some ar@eh#le's got my pen!' :dry:
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7 years 4 months ago #2599 by clinton
My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn't.

Marriage is a three-ring circus:
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

For Sale :
Wedding dress, size 8.
Worn once by mistake.
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman:
Before marriage and after marriage.
Why were hurricanes usually named after women?
Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but
when they go, they take your house and car.
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7 years 4 months ago #2601 by clinton
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can
remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me
the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation,
"I now pronounce you man and wife."

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father
escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.
The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.


A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy.
What do you think I should do?"
"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"

A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to
her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours.
You want my advice?"
The man said yes and the Rabbi replied,
"Take the poison."

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7 years 4 months ago - 7 years 4 months ago #2990 by Gemini
ha ha

lets tango!
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Last Edit: 7 years 4 months ago by Gemini.

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7 years 4 months ago - 7 years 4 months ago #2991 by Gemini
ha ha

lets tango!
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Last Edit: 7 years 4 months ago by Gemini.

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7 years 4 months ago - 7 years 4 months ago #2992 by Gemini

lets tango!
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Last Edit: 7 years 4 months ago by Gemini.

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