Breath! Damn you, breathe! The weekend is almost here!

What am I?

Panado’s

A man came home late from a party, drunk.

His wife was sleeping with her mouth wide open.

He put two panado’s in her open mouth.

She gasped for air and almost choked.

Wife: What did you put in my mouth?

Husband: Two panado’s…

Wife: I do not have a headache.

Husband: That’s exactly what I want to hear, yes that is exactly what I what to hear.


Grandparents answering machine
Good morning. . . . At present we are not at home but, please leave your message after you hear the beep. Beeeeeppp …If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of “arrival” so we know who it is.

If you need us to stay with the children, press 2

If you want to borrow the car, press 3

If you want us to wash your clothes and ironing, press 4

If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5

If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6

If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7

If you want to come to eat here, press 8

If you need money, dial 9

If you are going to invite us to dinner, or, taking us to the theatre, start talking. We are listening !!!!!!!!!!!”

1 Liter Brandy + 2 liter Coke + ‘n 3 liter Toyota + 2 Blue Bull - supporters =

Beggars with a sense of humour