JULIUS : Hello, I would like to order some guns, please.
Gunsmith : Some what? (The line is bad.)
JULIUS : Guns (Getting louder)
Gunsmith : Sorry I can hardly hear, please repeat.
JULIUS : (Very loud now) GUNS! "G" for Jeep, "U" for Europe , "N" for knowledge and "S" for Eskom. GUNS!!

For all the people who insist on scientific names on this forum....

Someone willing to take a squeeze at sexing this specimen?

Vodacom : How may we help you?

Customer : This is Julius Malema and I haff a big problem with my phone
bill.. My wife, she think I haffing an affair!

Vodacom : Okay Sir, and how can we help you with this?

Julius : My bill haff all these calls to Salulah and my wife think I
haffing an affair with this woman, but I never heard of her before.
You must please trace these calls for me.

Vodacom : Sir, I'm sorry but the bill won't actually tell you the name
of the person you're calling, just their number.

Julius: This one does.

Vodacom : What phone do you have, Sir?

Julius : A mobile. I tell you this.

Vodacom : No, Sir, what make? What do you have in your hands?

Julius : An erection.

After a moment's silence, the gallant Vodacom worker continued.

Vodacom : Um, sir? Could you spell that for me?

Customer : For sure - E..R..I..C..S..S..O..N. - Erection.

Another moment's silence from Vodacom, and suddenly the penny
dropped.

Vodacom : Sir? Can you spell Salulah for me?

Julius : For sure. C...E..L...L..U..L..A...R. - Salulah.