Perform This Way (Parody of "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga)

www.youtube.com/user/alyankovicVEVO#p/a/u/1/KCSA7kKNu2Y

Hi all,


I would just like to share an experience with you all, and it has to do with drinking and driving. As you know some of us have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd swaree over the years?

Well I for one have done something about it: Last night I was out for a few drinks with some mates and had way too many Captain & Coke’s & shooters, knowing full well I was wasted, I did something I’ve never done before.

I took a Bus home.

I arrived home safely and without incident which was a real surprise, since I had never driven a bus before

A little girl goes 2 a pet shop & asks "excuthe me do u have widdle wabbits?" The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he is on her level & says "do u want a widdle white or a thoft fwuffy bwack wabbit, or 1 like that widdle bwown 1 over there?" The little girl blushes, rocks back on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers, "I don't wealy fink my anaconda gives a phuck"....

An Englishman on safari is about to embark on a nature walk with a group of other tourists and the camps most trusted game ranger. Being that the Englishman is of a rather nervous disposition and is terribly worried that at any time the worst could happen to him, he approaches the game ranger and asks him: If I happen to lose contact with the rest of the group while we are out there and I happen to be confronted by a lion what should I do?!? The answer comes: What you should do is maintain eye contact with the beast then take a step to left and a step backwards, ensure you keep eye contact and take a step to the right and a step backwards and just keep this up until you return to camp. Are you sure that your plan will work asks the Englishman to which the game ranger responds: No, but at least when the lion eats you there won't be any shit on your boots!