Klein dogtertjie speel in die tuin toe sy twee spinnekoppe sien paar. “Pa, wat doen daai twee spinnekoppe?” vra sy. “Hulle paar”, antwoord haar pa. “Wat noem mens die een wat bo is, pa?” vra sy. “Dis ‘n daddy longlegs” antwoord hy. “So die ander een is ‘n mommy longlegs?” vra sy. “Nee”, sê haar pa, albei is daddy longlegs” Die dogtertjie dink vir so oomblik hieroor na, en trap toe die spinnekoppe plat met haar skoene. “Wel, ons gaan nie daai *** dinge in ons tuin toelaat nie!”

What is the proper Afrikaans word for Gynaecologist? - Koekeloerder.

His request approved, the CNN News photographer
quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport
to charter a flight.


He was told a twin-engine plane
would be waiting for him at the airport.


Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane
warming up outside a hanger.



He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut,
and shouted, 'Let's go'.



The pilot taxied out, swung the plane
into the wind and took off.



Once in the air, the photographer instructed
the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make
low passes so I can take pictures
of the fires on the hillsides.'


'Why?' asked the pilot.



'Because I'm a photographer for CNN'
he responded, 'and I need to get
some close up shots.'



The pilot was strangely silent for a moment,
finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me,
is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor?'

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching,

so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.
For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
Two o'clock and no hired hand.
Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra."

Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said,
"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder.......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?