MORE WISDOM.(From the inter webs)

Terms and conditions apply, not for sensitive viewers... :lol:

Some Sex Is Good...More Is Better...Too Much Is Just About Right.
A Tattoo is permanent proof of temporary insanity.
A Shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death.
Mother's Day comes nine months after father's day.
The best way to save face, is to keep the lower part of it shut.
To make a long story short, don't tell it.
Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
A man is only as faithful as his options.
Never argue with a fool...he may be doing the same thing.
The best way to keep your word is not to give it.
Even a fish can escape being caught, if it keeps its mouth shut.
The wise speak when they have something to say, the fools speak when they have to say something.
An Egotist a person more interested in himself than in me.
The best time to go to the dentist is tooth hurty.
A gay gentleman from the Deep South is called a homo-sex-y'all.
Even a turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
The quietest place in the world is the complaint department at a parachute packing plant.
A good woman will do 70 chores around the house. Cooking and 69.
The difference between a dog and a fox is about five drinks.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Egghead is what Mrs. Dumpty gives Humpty.
Gay dinosaur is called Mega-sor-ass.
A prostitute with a degree in psychology will blow your mind.
When a bomb goes off in the middle of a herd of cows, there will be udder destruction.
You know you are a geek when you look at a movie trailer and think, "I have that font."
Birds of a feather flock together...then crap on your car.
Never tell a secret to a pig, it may squeal.
Man who is impotent will have Willy-nilly.
The difference between pink and purple, is your grip.
Education is the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
Taliban's national bird is "duck".
It's not how deep you fish, it's how you wiggle your worm.
Deaf people have phone sex by fax.
If you do not wish to get to the point, never play leap frog with a unicorn.
The only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back, is a police horse.

...and so on...

Can't girls spell properly anymore? I received countless SMS messages this morning saying:

"Heerlike lengte" . :woohoo:

Scarab wrote: Can't girls spell properly anymore? I received countless SMS messages this morning saying:

"Heerlike lengte" . :woohoo:

There used to be an old folk song in afrikaans...

In the light of your discovery Uncle Scarab...

It makes me wonder if it wasn't that way all along...

"Dis heerlike lengte, die winter's verby...

TH

In light of Juliasss's defeat in court, he invited the boere with a small knertsie...





TH

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot ( wine) to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.' And indicated the sender with a nod of his head.

She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read:

'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants'.

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

It read:

'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen, Miami, and San Francisco, and a 10,000 acre ranch in Texas . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches.

Just send the bottle back.'

A baby seal walked into a club